{"id":176632227,"date":"2008-03-20T11:59:36","date_gmt":"2008-03-20T11:59:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/squashword.wpengine.com\/?p=176632227"},"modified":"2015-05-15T18:02:26","modified_gmt":"2015-05-15T18:02:26","slug":"college-nickname-bracketology","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.squashword.com\/?p=176632227","title":{"rendered":"College Nickname Bracketology"},"content":{"rendered":"
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This very minute is the start of the greatest forty hours of the year. It is the first day of spring and March Madness begins at noon today. Almost all of the thirty-two first-round games that are played today and tomorrow are not in primetime, but rather in the middle of the day.\u00a0<\/span>The start of the Big Dance is the last major televised sporting event to still occur midday midweek. It is the World Series in 1951. It is calling in sick. It is going to the pub at three in the afternoon. It is great.<\/p>\n

The NCAAs also remind us, year after year, that not all institutions of higher learning have bland, common nicknames. One guy counted up college nicknames\u00a0<\/a>and found seventy-four schools that field Eagles, forty-six Tigers and thirty-nine Bulldogs. But the NCAAs bring out those inventive, iconoclastic names. This year\u2019s choice is probably Kent State: the Golden Flashes.<\/p>\n

But intercollegiate squash, although for some quirk of administration not an official NCAA sport, does match up very well with any college sport in its wealth of nicknames. So in honor of March Madness, I have devised a crude, twenty-four team bracket of the best of college squash nicknames (the NCAAs were a twenty-four team draw until 1974\u2026.):<\/p>\n

First Round\u2014<\/strong>
\nBowdoin Polar Bears v. Colby Mules
\nFor this in-state derby, you gotta go with Da Bears.<\/p>\n

Conn College Camels v. Drexel Dragons
\nAs our son likes to say, a one-hump camel poops a one-hump poop. And dragons are scary.<\/p>\n

F&M Diplomats v. Haverford Black Squirrels
\nBlack squirrels are the nice kind, right?<\/p>\n

Amherst Lord Jeffs v. Kenyon Lords
\nHoi polloi.<\/p>\n

Harvard Crimson v. Stanford Cardinal v. Denison Big Red v. Cornell Big Red
\nRed is not red.<\/p>\n

Vassar Brewers v. Wesleyan Cardinals
\nNo more partying in Pougkeepsie.<\/p>\n

Tufts Jumbos v. Tulane Green Wave
\nFat Tuesday.<\/p>\n

UVM Catamounts v. Georgetown Hoyas
\nNo one really knows what a Hoya is.<\/p>\n

Columbia Lions v. Mount Holyoke Lyons
\nRoar.<\/p>\n

NYU Violets v. Trinity Bantams
\nShrinking.<\/p>\n

Wellesley Blue v. Dartmouth Big Green
\nSize does matter.<\/p>\n

William Smith Herons v. Hobart Statesmen
\nCan\u2019t they all just get together and love one another right now up at the College of the Senecas?<\/p>\n

Second Round\u2014<\/strong>
\nPolar Bears v. Camels
\nGlobal warming is a killer.<\/p>\n

Black Squirrels v. Lord Jeffs
\nHaverford has the country\u2019s only varsity cricket team\u2014take that M\u2019 Lord.<\/p>\n

Cardinal v. Cardinals
\nReally.<\/p>\n

Green Wave v. Catamounts
\nTsunami.<\/p>\n

Lions v. Bantams
\nWhy did the chicken cross the road?<\/p>\n

Big Green v. Herons
\nHate to dis my alma mater, but the big, gawky bird gets it.<\/p>\n

Quarterfinals\u2014<\/strong>
\nCamels v. Black Squirrels
\nA camel gets you across the desert; a squirrel eats your bulbs.<\/p>\n

Cardinal v. Green Wave
\nIs that then a yellow tide?<\/p>\n

Bantams v. Herons
\nTrinity has won too much lately, right?<\/p>\n

Semis\u2014<\/strong>
\nCamels v. Green Wave
\nTulane\u2019s former nickname was the Greenbacks.<\/p>\n

Herons get a bye since I did the draw. They have a hit with the Bard Raptors.<\/p>\n

Finals\u2014<\/strong>
\nCamels v. Herons.
\nWe are talking some serious squash history being made. Best college squash team nickname of 2008. Well, with a coach called Fishback, it seems they are taking their nickname seriously up in Geneva. Let\u2019s take the William Smith Herons.<\/p>\n

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 20th, 2008 at 12:01 pm and is filed under\u00a0General<\/a>. You can follow any responses to this entry through the\u00a0RSS 2.0<\/a>\u00a0feed. You can\u00a0leave a response<\/a>, or\u00a0trackback<\/a>\u00a0from your own site.<\/small><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

3 Responses to \u201cCollege Nickname Bracket\u201d<\/h3>\n
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  1. voodoochild<\/a><\/cite>\u00a0Says:
    \n    March 20th, 2008 at 12:37 pm<\/a><\/small>James,
    \nYou hurt Rocky\u2019s feelings by missing the Rochester Yellowjackets!\u00a0\":(\"<\/li>\n
  2. Bob Burton<\/cite>\u00a0Says:
    \n    March 31st, 2008 at 12:54 pm<\/a><\/small>Jim, missed you at the Nationals which was a good time. Like your column, especially since I fathered a Colby Mule and a F&M Diplomat (go Dips?) and even though you crushed both in the first round.<\/p>\n

    A Hoya comes from the Georgetown cry Saxa Hoya, which means, I think What Rocks! or Big Stones! or something equally suspect. But then, you knew that, didn\u2019t you.<\/p>\n

    See you soon,<\/p>\n

    Bob Burton<\/li>\n

  3. Carl Cummings<\/cite>\u00a0Says:
    \n    April 24th, 2008 at 11:01 am<\/a><\/small>Late to this party but surprised not to have seen the Banana Slugs of UC Santa Cruz (http:\/\/www.ucsc.edu\/about\/campus_mascot.asp). They could have been matched up in the first round against the Boll Weevils of the University of Arkansas at Monticello.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    This very minute is the start of the greatest forty hours of the year. It is the first day of spring and March Madness begins at noon today. Almost all of the thirty-two first-round games that are played today and tomorrow are not in primetime, but rather in the middle of the day.\u00a0The start of … Continue reading College Nickname Bracketology<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-176632227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squashword.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176632227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squashword.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squashword.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.squashword.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.squashword.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=176632227"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.squashword.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176632227\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squashword.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=176632227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.squashword.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=176632227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.squashword.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=176632227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}